shoutout to the friends that still like me
all two of you
so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal
Slam me in my tender butthole
I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase.
kinda wanna go on a date, kinda wanna get hit by a truck too
can you imagine what would happen if arthur weasley discovered google
The Harry Potter books are set in the early 90’s. I bet that he discovered the Internet around 2000, and was captivated. He probably spent years getting the Ministry to adopt wi-fi, and now he spends his lunch breaks perusing Wikipedia. At home he has a state-of-the-art computer rig with like four massive monitors and he marathons “How It’s Made” on Netflix.
I’ve been single for a while now, and I have to say it’s going really well. Like, it’s working out. I think I’m the one.
You know sweatpants?
In Australia we call them trakky-dacks.
im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us
we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.
children wake up early because they still get excited about life
this is the saddest thing I’ve seen on here
when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results
*on a date*
so haha tell me more about your dog
opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
But all you ever see are men’s